If world war 2 was a bar fight
Rarely have bar fights made history. And in the case of the so-called “Battle of Brisbane,” it almost didn’t.
It was the end of November 1942, not yet a full year since the attack on Pearl Harbor. World War II was waging on, and General Douglas MacArthur had stationed some 40,000 American troops in Brisbane, Australia, after the fall of the Philippines to prepare for battle against Japanese forces in the Pacific theater. These U.S. soldiers were to bring much-needed manpower to the nation, which had a smaller population that could join the fight. Brisbane, a city of around 350,000, was on high alert for fear of invasion, and became one of four allied headquarters along with Honolulu, Washington D.C., and London.
Despite an early warm welcome from the Australian community upon the Americans’ arrival in 1941, skirmishes between the groups of soldiers weren’t uncommon, according to Robert Macklin’s book “The Battle of Brisbane.” Tensions had been brewing between the factions for some time, and the Americans’ higher pay was one major factor: Australian troops, many of whom had signed up for service in an effort to receive food and money during the Great Depression, had even rioted
Still sore from the night before, Germany has had one too many pints. It is sucking up to Russia, deciding it doesn’t want to pay for the drinks that France insists it owes. They then drunkenly shout out that Austria is its brother, man, and Italy is their long time best friend.
Sauced now and belligerent, Germany is glaring angrily about the bar. Italy is already marching around, challenging everyone to step outside. America had left the bar some time ago and no one was sure where it’d gone.
With nothing better to do, Germany challenges Soviet Russia to an arm wrestling match at the Spanish table, while Japan was in the back room whacking China with a pool cue.
Arm-wrestling over, Germany goes to the bar again and orders another pint and one for Austria. Glancing over to Czechoslovakia, Germany says, “Hey, nice shirt. I want it”.
Before Czechoslovakia can jump from the bar stool and take a swing, Britain walks over and stands between the two, saying, “Can’t we just get along? Come on, now, Czechoslovakia, just the shirt, that’s all.”
Humiliated, Czechoslovakia hands over the shirt and Britain walks back to the corner table with France saying, “See? Peace in our time.
If World War II was a bar fight.
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Still sore from the night before, Germany has had one too many pints.
~Germany is still facing the consequences from the first world war.~
Italy is already marching around, challenging everyone to step outside.
~Mussolini begins invading countries~
They then drunkenly shout out that Austria is its brother, man, and Italy is their long time best friend.
~Germany, Russia and Italy become allies.~
Sauced now and belligerent, Germany is glaring angrily about the bar.
~Germany wants revenge for the blame that was out on them from World War.~
America had left the bar some time ago and no one was sure where it’d gone.
~America decides to stay neutral in the beginning of the war.~
...while Japan was in the back room whacking China with a pool cue.
~Japan invades China, initiating World War II in the Pacific. ~
Before Czechoslovakia can jump from the bar stool and take a swing, Britain walks over and stands between the two, saying, “Can’t we just get along? Come on, now, Czechoslovakia, just the shirt, that’s all.”
British Prime Minister
The Cold War as a Block Fight
Hey everyone, I just mind I'd share this with the SAF crowd because it's lovely hilarious.
http://www.tentimesone.com/if-world-war-one-was-a-bar-fight/
http://www.tentimesone.com/if-world-war-two-was-a-bar-fight/
This is taking all the countries from both planet wars and personifying them in a bar fight setting. I thought it was really amusing, so I wrote a similar thing (essay, I guess?) about the Cold War. Why? Because I was bored and had nothing better to do then use the Off Topic forum!
It starts right after WWII ends:
As Germany, Japan, and Italy lie unconscious on the floor of the bar, America and Russia get up and dust themselves off. They exchange a sympathetic glance as they look around at the utterly destroyed bar. As the two giants go through the other belligerents’ pockets, they start to argue about who should earn what. Just then, North Korea, North Vietnam, South Korea, and South Vietnam walk into the bar and ask Russia and America what the hell is going on. When Russia and America explain what happened and their predicament about sharing the spoils, North Korea and North Vietnam agree to hang out with Russia sometimes
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Still sore from the night before
Still recovering from WW1
It is sucking up to Russia, deciding it doesn't want to pay for the drinks that France insists it owes.
Upset about Treaty of Versailles
Then they drunkenly shout out that Austria is its brother, man, and Italy is their long time best friend.
Germany starts building alliances with other countries.
Italy is already marching around, challenging everyone to step outside.
Italy starts looking for countries to battle
America had left the bar some time ago and no one was sure where it’d gone.
America decided to stay out of the war
With nothing better to do, Germany challenges Soviet Russia to an arm wrestling match at the Spanish table
Germany contemplates invading Russia
While Japan was in the back room whacking China with a pool cue.
Japan invade China to practice imperialism
Arm-wrestling over, Germany goes to the bar again and orders another pint and one for Austria.
Germany invades Austria with little to no resistance.
Before Czechoslovakia can jump from the bar stool and take a swing, Britain